I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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