ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
