Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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