I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
