she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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