Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
