Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
