Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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