I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
