He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
