do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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