I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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