Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
