once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
