What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
