you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she looked like the before picture.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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