You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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