he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Randomize
