i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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