matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
