Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
ugly people sure do ruin things
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let's paint friendship bongs
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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