So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
