everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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