Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
