is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
