home. puking in laundry basket.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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