i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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