Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
