Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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