what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
