I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
