Im at strip club and am horny
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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