when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
