There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
