He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
