I'm really into asian looking animals
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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