think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
