i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
