i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
So much rum. So many feels.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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