It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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