i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I love having hate sex.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Randomize
