She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
