Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We named our party play list daddy issues
Fuck appropriateness.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
