why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize