erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
