"it" just moved
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
