You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
People in love make me want to vomit
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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