I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
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