Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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