he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
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