I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
