I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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