Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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