and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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