She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
