bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
