I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
