is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Randomize
