Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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