why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
