i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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