the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
