I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
