Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
