You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Randomize
