He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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