I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize