i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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